Archives for posts with tag: Goals

I had the worst night of sleep last night, not only did I have difficulty falling asleep but I also I kept waking up with a start at random parts of the night (either a gasp, a confused grunt or by a jump, like someone had shocked me with a taser. At one point I even woke up and said “ew.” I have no idea why and confused myself thoroughly). I blame my poor nights sleep on the previous days eating and my (at the time inspired) choice of chocolate for dinner. My god, yes. We didn’t have much food left in the holiday house and my boyfriend fell ill early in the day. (He drives us into town, as I do not have my licence) So I started the day with white bread with nothing on it (oh, yes I did) and then finished off a pack of chicken flavoured potato chips. Then, I finished the rest of the bread with some more avocado, tomato and lemon juice. I gazed into my stash at dinner time…all I had left was a white chocolate bar. Whoops. So I ate that bad boy in a minute tops, while watching Big Bang Theory. It felt good at the time, until boyfriend entered the room to sleep so I figured i’d best shut the show off and join him. That’s when the problems started.

Every other night in the house I have had a perfect nights sleep…at bed time I could fall asleep easily and then I wouldn’t open my eyes until the morning. Turns out I function better eating actual food…how about that?  It was a real awakening to realise how essential vegetables and spacing out my (real) meals really is. I’d rather have a grumpy tummy than a foggy brain, that’s for sure.

One of my goals for the year will be to eat some veggies at lunch instead of making a beeline for Hungry Jacks, and to avoid chocolate and lollies. Because I sleep terribly and I never even realised why that was until I was here and eating properly. There was a vast improvement in my sleep after giving up Coke, but it was even better once I started lunching on about a kilo more vegetables than I am used to. It’s hard to see when you don’t know any differently, eh?

What other goals should I consider? I’m having a lot of fun deciding. The post is going to be a long one!

I’ve been away at Inverloch (beachy Victorian town) for the past few days, as a traditional new years trip…each year the boyfriend and I go to a holiday house with a group of friends. It’s a nice house in a good spot, walking distance from the beach and driving distance to a McDonalds for greasy breakfast treats in Wonthaggi. *Cough* Yeah, I am healthy…

Actually I have been doing okay in the eating and drinking department despite a couple of visits to Maccas for egg muffins, I have decided that i can only really settle of moderation and do the best I can. Also, one of the great things about going away is that the boyfriend cooks for me…and he understands my disinterest in meats, so he serves me up lunches and dinners of vegetable stir fries, avocado,  tomato and lemon juice on toast and soup. My body isn’t used to so many veggies in such a short period of time, so it has been a bit grumpy with me of late. But, that’s to be expected and it hasn’t been too distressing. I am realising that lemon is a very useful and tasty additon to foods. As a child I only ever had it on pancakes, so the first few tastes of my toast were a little confusing! But it’s something I will be adding to food often in the future.

While I haven’t been drinking Coke and my body has thanked me for that with solid nights of sleep and no tummy aches, I have been having a few alcoholic drinks. I did find that the sugar got to me and I couldn’t handle more than three in one night. I actually poured half of my last one down the drain because I couldn’t take any more sugar. Even in my tipsy state I just couldn’t stomach it. The old me could drink 10 Cruisers in one night and feel fantastic, but not anymore. I just felt…full. Like, I had been gorging on chocolates for an entire day, each mouthful felt like I was chewing down peas as a child, “but Mum, they’re GROSS!”

I’m working on my goals for the year and it’s all very exciting, many food related ones are dancing around in my head! So, that post is on it’s way.

On the 16th of December I caved and drank a Coke. Okay, so it was a regular sized one from Hungry Jacks, but just as bad…so I learnt. I had been having a tough week, a lot had happened and I was very upset. Not that it really justifies it. I went to get some lunch, as I required onion rings, stat. Normally when I indulge in such lunches, I ask for a lemonade or a multi v juice. If they accidently give me Coke, I ask them to change it for another drink. Every other day I have managed to do that fine, (despite the fact I ask for lemonade each time, I still end up being given Coke) but when this lunch time came around, and they gave me Coke by mistake…and I said absolutely nothing. The first two or three gulps were pure heaven…then it tasted like nothing but brown water and failure. But I drank it down in about four seconds. After that, I was blitzed with energy…I had the most hyperactive afternoon of my life. I went home full of beans and cleaned my room, arranged my DVD’s and games on a shelf that I had been neglecting for about four weeks. It had been constructed and was leaning against my wall, all I had to do was put the shelves in and stack stuff onto them, but I hadn’t had the energy to THINK about doing that. I thought I had come across something magical at that point…I WAS BACK!

Then…I didn’t get to sleep until about one in the morning and I wanted to die the next day.

Boyfriend says it’s all about moderation and it doesn’t matter but my sudden break in the strike left me a little despondent. What was I meant to do now? Had I failed? Had I done okay in just having one drink in two and a half months? What do I do now? Get more and chug it with bourbon and forget my troubles?  But no, I just stopped drinking it again and put it down to being a life lesson of sorts. It really wasn’t worth it.

I might not praise myself on many things, but one thing I do praise is my willpower…mostly due to severe perfectionism. This is normally a bad thing, like when I was in school and I couldn’t finish my homework because I had to start over to make the handwriting neater, or when I would spend months in art class, trying to finish a folio and have nothing by the end of it, “nothing was good enough.” I find it very difficult to reach my extremely high standards, and it’s painfully difficult to lower them and know I am not doing the best of the best. But, with something like cancelling out something I am consuming, it’s easy. Either I drink Coke, and I fail, or I don’t have any and I succeed. There isn’t a middle man, any thoughts creeping through that say I could have done that BETTER, or FASTER. It’s just, “I didn’t have any Coke this week, if I have one, that ruins the streak…so I won’t.”

Five weeks today! :edit: WAITAMINUTE! Am I SIX weeks into my strike instead of five?! HOW DID I LOSE COUNT OF THIS?! From my comments, I started on the 4th of October. WOAH I GAINED A WEEK! SIX WEEKS!

Only problem? I’m drinking a lemonade fairly often these days. I think it’s because the places I eat lunch at offer fizzy drinks, now I don’t want to have the Coke, and I just go for the clear drink to prevent staining my teeth further and I don’t want to split my meals up and pay more for less. It should be encouraging me to eat less of those foods, but it isn’t at this point.

But, my goal was less caffeine. That’s what I have done so far. Then I move onto the next thing, and the next. There will always be something else.

Gift time for my efforts? I think so.

It’s been awhile! I get into ruts where I think about everything I could be writing about, and just don’t come to the blog. I want to make this a regular blog, but right now my goal is to just post every month or so. Eventually, i’ll come in with all of the other great ideas I have to improve this place.

The strike is in full force! Monday will mark my three week Coke Zero free aniversary. Three weeks without caffeine, it’s outrageous! I am unsure if I am being healthier in this act, sure, I am not hopped up on a weak energy drink and consuming something that stains my teeth horrifically, but in turn I drink a lot of juices and a splash of lemonade to compensate. Naughty me. I feel right now it is an accomplishment, because I wanted to get off of caffeine and prove to myself I didn’t really need  it, then the next step was improving my teeth, and ensuring I don’t have to have the same teeth refilled every damn year.

I didn’t really notice much of a change coming off of Coke, and I only really ever wanted it when I saw that someone else had some. I had a few cans left over from when I was drinking it, they sat in my kitchen and I never so much as looked at them until my Mother asked if she could have one. As soon as she cracked the can open, something clicked in my head and I wanted…nay, NEEDED it. It was what I imagine a cigarette craving to be like. Uncomfortable. Painful. But, I made it through and praised my willpower. My general day to day moods haven’t changed much, but I do have wicked tired spells in the afternoon, but when that happens I eat something and that helps a lot, I can literally feel the energy kick.

Next step, fight the craving to drink lemonade and utilise the water cooler at work. I still have wicked sugar cravings, so I need to find a new way to combat those rather than drinking fizzy drinks or long life fruit juices. Cordial might be my next avenue, if I can get away from the fizz, then have weak cordial, I might be able to move onto tea…lemon in water…eventually I will get there.

Then, once I am addicted to water…food changes.

Yeah, that says “gaining” not “losing” I know, it’s a crazy idea! If you try to Google “healthy dieting” or “gain weight” you normally get results for bodybuilding, or healthy diets to lose weight, and the topic of gaining is rarely covered, but it’s something I need to do. I weight fifty kilos. Yes, that’s right fifty, I teeter from forty nine to fifty, and that is my only fluctuation, I have never exceeded fifty in my entire life. This can be a bit of a shock to some. All I really know on the matter so far is I am classed as undeweight due to my BMI. I always have been but no one ever really told me to take any serious action against it. One doctor would always tell me that I needed to gain a bit, and should get around to it, but other than that, it never really came up often.

I am in no way shape or form, anorexic. I have no eating disorder of any kind, I just eat poorly, I eat a lot of food, but just the wrong food. I was raised on good, healthy food, and fizzy drinks were a sometimes treat, in all other respects I was healthy, but I was so light that I couldn’t even hold the cinema seat down with my weight, so it would fold up with me in it. As I grew, I realised I could eat whatever I wanted without changing even slightly, so I did. This eventually developed into half a pack of cookies for breakfast, Red Rooster for lunch (normally some artificial chicken strips and chips, or a wrap with some tomato, cheese and lettuce and the aforementioned artifical chicken) and a box of pizza shapes for a snack, not to mention the three or four cans (and sometimes even a 600ml bottle) of Coke Zero inbetween all of that. Maybe a 600ml bottle of water, at the best of times,  is also included. I knew I had a problem when I stopped posting in a “what i ate today” thread on a forum that I frequent, because I was so ashamed of my diet and couldn’t even show my friends what I had eaten. Working in a desk job has that benefit for me, because no one ever really sees what I eat, a few friends know me as a Coke Zero addict, and I have a reputation for being a Maccas fiend as well, but I can gorge on bad stuff at my desk and people don’t really see all of it.

I rarely read the nutrition information on food packaging, but I have started and today I learnt that a recommended serving of my favourite chocolate chip cookies is two biscuits (21g). I can’t even begin to imagine stopping at two biscuits. I can finish a whole pack and then crack open a bag of chips afterwards. I am constantly hungry and always need to be chewing something, I can’t be without a snack, ever. I understand that eating healthy will probably eliminate a lot of the hunger cause i’m eating things that my body can actually USE, and when I do eat something healthy, I do feel satisfied for longer, but I also have to fight that vice like grip of deliciousness…and cravings. Oh, my cravings for food are intense! I do enjoy healthy foods, I think they taste great, a lot better than some soggy hot chips and sweet and sour sauce, but the matter of the fact is one is a lot more convienient than the other. I go home to a house with nothing but some tomatoes, old, black bananas and bread and I know that rather than make a tomato sandwich and peek inside a banana, I am going to go and get some chips. In the mornings, I grab some cans of Coke and am so tired and out of it I need to focus solely on dressing and preparing to face the outside world. I need to break free of this, and maybe even begin to shop for real foods, instead of taking the non perishable route and grabbing boxes I can take to work and leave in a drawer for emergencies.  I travel by train to work so this deters me from making lunches or bringing things that need to be cooked or stored in the fridge, because I wonder if they will last the trip, and don’t really know the limits of foods, and all there is to  know about storing them. Spring is amongst us, and our summers are exceptionally scorching here in Melbourne, so I don’t know what I will do for those, in particular. If I worked near a supermarket, i’d be better, I think, cause i’d buy what I needed for the day and then take it straight back to work and prepare or eat. But, the suburb we are currently in has nothing but  a…yeah, you guessed it, Red Rooster… oh! …and a liquor shop.

My day zero list will eventually contain actionable goals I can use to move forward in this subject, for now I need to figure out how I will measure them, what to focus on first and how to feel good about small changes when I always demand perfection and 100% change instantly (which normally leads to failure, understandably).

I figured i’d list a few reasons that this has come about, just so I can refer to them later when I think it’s all pointless and want to just not bother bringing any lunch to work. Again.

Everything I eat shows up in my skin, as a kid I had amazing skin, but after my teens, it became a disaster…congested, blotchy, a combination of oily and dry…with a few random pimples. I aim to eat better, or at least up the water intake, to see if that helps me out.

Cost is also a serious issue, I save a lot of money and feel very accomplished by this but I spend a lot on food…a lot. Today, I spent $9.45 on a small meal at Red Rooster. Nine forty five…on a small meal, which compromises of three chicken strips, a small chips and water. The water tilted the price up because it’s seventy cents extra for water, just cause I got a 600ml bottle over the kiddy pop top which was probably about 200ml. I am also the type of woman to complain about buying a six dollar salad sandwich, so by comparison, this is ridiculous and needs to stop. Did I mention I visit this place at least three to four times per week?! I normally get the larger meals, which are over ten dollars. Ten dollars for a near uselesss meal is pretty bad.

I. Am. Tired. Constantly. I feel slighlty refreshed today because I had a lot of sleep yesterday afternoon, I had a looovely nap which felt more like a coma, and then woke up around tea time, and then got to bed at my normal time again. So, I woke up feeling good for the first time in a long time, I need that extra sleep and I don’t give it to myself. But, my diet has me lethargic, weak and demotivated a  lot of the time. I can guzzle a coke or two and then perk up for awhile, but that inevitable crash is always around the corner.

If I were eating better, I could probably justify exercising. Right now I just think to myself that there isn’t much point in taking vitamins or getting active, because the foods I eat don’t really support those actions. If I start to change the diet, the other acts will follow. Boyfriend wants to get into some running…I am not much of a runner but I will gasp and flail my arms around trying to catch up with him. I’m supportive like that. (lol) He keeps mentioning that I need to buy running shoes, which will be happening very soon, a good pair is very expensive…you know boyfriend, my birthday IS coming up…(21 sleeps, but who is counting?!)

While investigating and researching, as I do very frequently, I discovered this blog post which pretty much sums it all up for me and I found it pretty inspiring. I am always on the look out for blogs, articles, books or anything out there that can teach me a thing or two. Bonne Sante is also a great blog to check out. I’ve always loved reading about food and healthy eating, ironically.

I’m a slow mover, but drinking more water and less Coke is the first point of focus. It’s not much but i’m doing what I am capable of, for now. I will include my goals with a goal post, when I finally figure out what they are! I need assistance with this. How can I measure such goals, what is a good, realistic but acceptable goal? Something that really counts, instead of the whole extra water bottle thing. I need to get started on this. It’s going to happen!

I read numerous blogs, books and articles on vegan diets (which often mention health foods I have never heard of and wouldn’t know how to use properly) religiously…

…but I eat pizza flavoured biscuits for breakfast.

I agonise over whether a particular juice or smoothie contains enough vitamins…

…while carrying an entire basket of chocolate dipped cereal bars and potato chips.

I complain about never ending dentist bills…

…but I could never rationalise cutting out my Coke Zero obsession.

I clean my desk at work after I finish each little job, like sweeping away loose staples, throwing away papers I don’t need and putting things away…I leave work each day with a perfectly clean desk, everything in the drawers to the point where all I have on my desk is the things I cannot put away…like monitors and my phone.

…but my desk at home is so crammed with junk that I have difficulty finding room for a plate on it at dinner time. I also have a leaning tower of papers, DVD’s and books which is becoming a challenge to add to.

I am more than willing to blow hundreds of dollars a month on food, McDonalds, (doesn’t really count in the food section! haha) bits and pieces (a bottle of coke when I already have cans at home) and spend twice as much as I should be spending on internet credit… (because I can’t commit to a plan)

…but I am so stingy with my savings that I refuse to touch it and pretend it doesn’t exist incase I waste it.

I’m painfully self conscious of my skin and complain to the mirror constantly…

…but I am too tired and lazy to do frequent face scrubs.

I want to be different and original…

…but I am too afraid people will notice.

But a good thing? While looking for a photo for this post, I went to my Flickr which I don’t visit much anymore and found this old collage I made and reminded me that I used to love making them. So, maybe I should create some more.

917 days left, 25% complete, 20 goals.

Alrighty, i’ve got the best songs on loop and i’m feeling inspired so i’m going to review my goals, what I have added, what I have completed and what I have avoided entirely:

Fill a money tin to the top with change: It’s almost there! Coins stand up when you put them in the slot now, after a shake they fall in, so it’s really getting close to my favourite part, cashing in and finding out the total!

Complete all of the scanning that is in the storage boxes at work: DONE! basically scanning is what you think it is, scanning pieces of paper, so instead of a hard copy, you can look up any archived file on a computer database. It’s a great idea in theory, but not so flash when no one knows what to call documents, where they want them, or even…what they are. I thought it would never happen, there were so many client files to create and SO many difficult documents that made so little sense in the beginning, but after a slight brain break and tonnes of investigation and work, it’s all done. The storage room is empty and I received praise and applause at the last staff meeting. Yes, applause…I was informed that the previous scanning staff member never received praise or applause. I am dependent on staff delivering new scanning to me now, which means I have more time to assist other people with whatever needs to be done, so I feel useful now, and can wander to reception and work on newsletters, help with mailouts and do other great stuff.

Find out my blood type: I have absolutely no idea what it is…no one has ever told me, and I never felt the need to ask…now I am curious! So, that’s easy.

Buy Japanese for Dummies and learn a few phrases: In my last post about goals I mentioned this one, but this has been edited to get a good Japanese textbook because my boyfriend thinks learning to read AND speak would be the best route and we’re looking into texts which can help with this…we found a fantastic one, but of course it was a well over my price range, so we had to leave it for awhile.

It’s taking a long time for me to select goals and reach 101 but I think that’s a good thing because i’m making ones I really want to achieve…not just stupid stuff I will ignore.

Has anyone else started using this website? I find most visitors click on the link for it on this blog, so I think it’s a winner.

I have recently joined the Day Zero Project. The basic gist of it is, to complete 101 goals in 1001 days, and because I need to work harder on creating and completing goals, one of my goals is actually to WRITE the 101 goals. I’m up to 15 currently but I am carefully chosing things that are of the utmost importance. It can be difficult to write a goal that is easy to measure and tick off, while being something you really wish to change, I couldn’t quite understand why people would write goals like, “drink more water” to be completed by 2012.  By the time I reach December 2012 I won’t remember that I drank water every single day for the 1001 days. So, it’s better to formulate something like, “drink a litre of water everyday during April 2010.” and then by May, I can either tick it off and make a new goal with (maybe with an increase of water intake) for May, or hide from my computer. Something measurable is more likely to be completed. You can read through a directory of the goals other people have formulated for themselves, and while some seem fair to me, (get my licence) others just aren’t workable, and will most likely be procrastinated and ignored, especially if you’re going for a 1001 day project (exercise everyday).

Some of the goals I made for myself that I am pretty excited about are: “fill a money tin to the top with change,” I recently did this and decided to buy a new tin, and make it a goal because it felt great to pour a gigantic pile of change into a sorting machine at the bank and watch the number grow and grow on the little blue, glowing screen. I reached a saving goal I have been waiting for, for about two years, thanks to that extra change! Normally I would have spent the coins on bits and pieces, because I used to have a little box I kept change in, and I would open it whenever I wanted change for something that I really didn’t need. So, when I bought a tin that could only broken into with a can opener, it was easier to keep away from the change, and to instantly deposit it into my bank account was fantastic.  I think if they gave me cash,  I would have chipped away at it by buying food and train tickets.

‘Buy beautiful lingerie,’ well, this one is self explanatory I guess…it might be easier to seduce a long-term boyfriend in something pretty, and NOT my pink, flannel pyjamas with owls printed on them. I have also never really owned anything like that before, just practical undergarments, and not fun enough!

‘Buy Japanese for Dummies and learn a few phrases,’ all my life I have wanted to go to Japan, it started when I was young and my Dad and I always planned go to, but we just never had the money for it and didn’t win the lotto, so it sort of died out after a while. Lately I have been thinking about it as a possibility later in my life, even though I have never been overseas before, or even left the state I currently live in, it’s somewhere I want to go before I die. So, I thought i’d start getting a grasp on some words, how to ask for things, and learning a few essential travel tips now, instead of later when the trip is booked and I am panicking about not knowing how to ask where the bathroom is.

‘Maintain a blog of various topics,’ well, so far so good!

‘Print and frame best photos on camera,’ once I moved to digital photos, I stopped framing them because I had either buy ink and photo paper, or pay a fortune at Kmart and fight with a machine (they’re so frustrating…I nearly punched one once…) to get some prints. So, i’d just admire photos on my phone, computer, whatever I could transfer them to…but I want something a little more special. I am going to fight those HP machines for my right to frame pictures of my loved ones. It had to be a goal, and not just a to do thing…because I really do hate those machines. I can’t stress that enough.

As time goes by I will finish the list and have some things done, and I am quite hopeful for an impressive percentage completed by the end of it. I know I don’t have many people viewing this blog just yet, seeing as it is so new, but does anyone have any goals set or are you using any other great websites I should know about?

Tomato and cheese sandwiches, (I really like them, but if they’re not your thing, best wishes!)

Jacinta